Just an indulgence

I am sitting at my desk waiting for TOAD to transfer the data returned by a query to an excel sheet. There are 119,230 rows to be transferred and its gonna take a long time. So I am enjoying the luxury of surfing internet, downloading mp3's and listening to some Bengali tracks. Thanks to my flat mate for providing me with this mp3's which I am listening to after a long time. I used to listen to these numbers when I was in college. Right now I listening to Bhalobasha by Porosh Pathor..a track which ranks very high on my list of favorite songs. Though don't know the reason behind it being so close to my heart. May be it is due to the fact that the song had made a perfect entry at the very right moment. It was then when someone very special was knocking my door. This song described my life very aptly at that point of time. It reminds me of the moments spent sitting at Princess Ghat(don't know if I am spelling it correctly), lost in the moment with passion deeper than the Ganga flowing by. It reminds of the moments spent at Esplanade Metro Station waiting for someone to come and give me a tight hug with a smile and then justify her being late by 2 hours. To put it in Bryan Adams' words "It reminds me of the best phase of my life"..best in every sense when I was yet to be bitten by life, smitten by reality. I was yet to realize that we are mere spectators of the rendition directed by someone else..though don't know who this else is. No!! We are not mere spectators. We also get the chance to perform our part in it..but it is limited only to that. Once we are done with our part, the rest is left to that unknown else. He decides what the next bit is going to be. Well let’s get back to the track.

Bhalobasha mane archies gallery,
Bhalobasha mane gopon gopon khela.

I am simply taken aback as to how all the love stories have the same prologue to start with. But then the epilogue is surely not the same for all and it is again decided by that mysterious identity that I am referring to as the else. May be this track best describes this initial phase. But then the songs ends in season-I. And the next seasons are yet to come. It tells us about the baby who is as pure as GOD, as genuine and true as the light coming from sun and not virtual like the moonlight which is very soothing but something which is just a reflection and which gets lost in the day light when everyone is awake. It describes the Spring, the Winter and the Fall are yet to come.
Oh!! This is another track which again ranks pretty high on my personal chart. Its 'ami sudhu cheyechi tomay' from Nil Nirjane. Now this time I actually can't figure out why I used to like this track so much. My life used to be a bed of roses then. The soft petals were yet to turn to painful thorns. But this is the first time I am actually able to relate to it. Let me listen to this number once and understand it in a way better than ever I cared to.
Yups!! TOAD is still busy loading the data in the excel file. So, I still have few more minutes to indulge into writing a piece which doesn't have any particular object as such. May be this is what you call indulgence. Ok lets get back to the track from Nil Nirjane..man its awesome. Who says emotions and feelings can't be replicated into words. Listen to this song and if you have experienced the cruel and barbarous season of Fall, you will surely say that whoever said that was himself not capable enough to do it. This song aptly puts into words the phase which makes you grown numb, though not comfortably. It takes you on a journey to the moment when you become a body without a soul, when you keep looking for your shadow even after knowing that the sun has set long back and deny not to lean on to the ray of hope which was never there. I don’t know what I am writing. Don’t have any particular object in mind. Just trying to pen down whatever is coming to my mind.
I guess you guys will forgive me for making this sin.
Anyways, TOAD is done with the job assigned to it and so am I.

Mon, boro abujh ei mon, Kichu je mane na hai
Abiram, ahoto shritir bhir, tobuuuuu
Ami je cheyechi tomay, Ami sudhu cheyechi tomay

Kakhun, jani na to kakhun..apcha hoye kuwashay
Ami sapnor pathe pathe sudhuuuuuu,
Hai koto khujechi tomay, ami sudhu khujechi tomay
Ami je khujechi tomay, ami sudhu khujechi tomay