Feel me..You may call me a despondent

I know I was running too fast
I know I was chasing my dream
A dream to be with you forever,
May be a dream which was nothing more than a mirage
A dream which was just a dream
But I would have preferred not waking up

But when I look back now I realize you could never see it
That being with you till death puts us apart was all i wished
You said I could never understand you
But you never realized even I could have quoted the same words
It doesn't matter to me whose fault it was
What matters to me is what I have lost
How was I to get a dream what I was making you go through
When you know the fact that I am not Jesus Christ, Not even a demi-god

You discussed it with everyone,
But my name was not in the list
The person to whom it mattered the most,
You thought was nothing more than just a beast
The show had begun long back,
But I was invited in the end
I had no other option but just to watch,
I was just a silent spectator and I couldn't even applaud.

I tried hard not to let the sand flow out of my hand, but in vain
I could do nothing but to watch and go thorugh all the pain
All my dreams were shattered,
And all had come to an end
I din realize the moment had arrived much before
And I din even get a chance to defend.

The water in the seas were already very high
And all the sand castles were drowned
You said I was a mere hangover for you,
But when I think of the memories of the moments I have spent with you,
I still go insane. I tried a lot to cheat myself,
I also put in conscious effort to hate you but it din work
I couldn't help but to accept the truth
The truth that love is not a business, its not even a game
It doesnt matter what you did to me, though I cant deny the pain
But still I dont mind saying that I love you,
And will keep loving you till i hold my life's rein.
I have just one wish, just a wish
I wish you could understand love is not just about calculating how much you can gain,
Love is not a business, its not even a game,